rrrowr: by babyoil_gfx  (I AM NOT A FORGER I AM A LAWYER)
[personal profile] rrrowr
Title: Fire, Set, Match
Rating: PG
Summary: Santana visits Dalton and tries to get some help from the Warblers to find Kurt. [Written for [livejournal.com profile] msmoocow's prompt on tumblr for Santana to hit on Blaine.]

ETA: NOW WITH ART BY [livejournal.com profile] ileliberte

Whatever Puck said about Dalton Academy being full of gays and sissy boys, it sure didn't seem like they were all that gay when Santana swished through the gates. She was wearing an approximation of their uniform courtesy Rachel, who had insisted that, even if it was just to check on Kurt and not the Warblers, Santana was skipping school and trespassing besides and blending in was probably a good idea.

It was a stupid idea (Santana had told Rachel so even as the uniform was being thrown at her) because the clothes did nothing to hide the fact that Santana was very much a girl – a girl with breasts that made the neck of the blazer pop and hips that made it flare. There was the ponytail, too, but cutting that off just to check up on Kurt only got a Hell No from Santana because nothing would make her cut off her hair except the poor pathetic kids that relied on charity and her Nana. Anyone that suggested otherwise was just asking for trouble.

But anyway – the Dalton boys. Totally not gay and totally willing to take Santana to where the Warblers practiced as soon as she cast any of them a little bit of a heated look. They were like dogs, really, she decided. Give ‘em a little meat and they were slobbering at her feet in no time at all.

There were a lot of good picks to choose from. There was an Asian boy named Wes, who wasn’t nearly as lanky tall as Mike but made up for it by being pretty authoritative to the other boys, and there was David, who was kind of bashful and kind of funny-sweet. He'd bent over her hand and kissed it with a cheeky smile she could appreciate on a guy. Then there was Blaine, who was cool in a disinterested sort of way, but didn’t seem to be affected by Santana’s presence at all, which was just not cool because she was looking pretty fucking hot right now, if she could say so.

While she curled her nails along Wes’ jawline, she said, “And where’s your newest boy, hm? Kurt Hummel.”

“Oh,” he said, seeming to blink back to himself. That just wouldn’t do at all... “If you’re interested in him, you should know he’s gay.”

Santana made a low considering sound in the back of her throat and just as she intended, Wes melted into her hands like putty. “If I was looking for a boyfriend, I’d look in other directions. You get what I’m saying?”

She winked; he made a few flustered attempts at speaking and gave up with a hard swallow.

“He’s my boy though,” she said, biting her lip as she let the backs of her fingers follow the line of his throat and her fingernails flick at his ear. “I want to check that he’s well taken care of.”

Wes floundered, completely unsuccessful at finding words that might be helpful to Santana’s mission, and his eyes dropped to her collar... and then lower. Santana sighed, withdrawing from him with a huff.

Really. She’d never considered being too hot a burden before.

Then her gaze landed on Blaine, who was sitting on the couch in front of her, legs crossed at the knees. He was utterly engrossed with his phone, tapping happily away at a text message.

“What about you,” she snapped and Blaine kind of jolted, surprised at being addressed. She could forgive him. She was a lot of hot to take in and it was only fair that she would spread out her attention to others. “Would you know where Hummel is?”

“Kurt?” Blaine asked while his eyes went to Wes, who was still completely caught up in Santana’s cup size. He tucked his phone into his jacket pocket and leaned back, lacing his fingers over the front of one knee as he did so. “I don’t know if I should tell you.”

Ditching Wes in favor of a real challenge, Santana eased into the seat next to Blaine. He watched her every move with a little smile on his face, which she returned with a saucy little twist to her lips. The thigh she folded her fingers over was pretty thick – very nice – but he didn’t so much as blink while he turned to look at her.

“I’m just worried about him,” she told Blaine hotly, pressing close. “I haven’t heard from him in,” here, she let her hand scoot higher on his leg, “so long.

Blaine laughed lightly, ducking his head as he did so, and oh, Santana liked the sound of it. It sounded like something older boys did, like maybe this boy was a real mature type who knew how to really make a girl scream his name if he wanted to. She licked her lips; maybe visiting Dalton wasn’t a complete waste after all.

Boldly, she gave his thigh a squeeze and he caught her hand up in his at once, saying, “Okay,” with a drawn out o as he put her hand back on her own leg with a pat. “That’s enough of that.”

“Not nearly enough if you ask me,” she replied and leaned in so that she could speak directly into the shell of his ear. “So why don’t you just tell me where Kurt is and I’ll give you a big, wet 'thank you' kiss on the tip of your-”

His phone buzzed in his jacket pocket and Blaine jumped out of the couch to answer it, nearly slamming his shoulder into her jaw in his effort to get away. It’d be kind of flattering, really, if it didn’t piss her off so much. Didn’t people realize just how much easier it was to give in to the inevitable?

“Kurt!” Blaine said way too brightly into his phone. “You’ll never guess who’s here to see you!”

Blaine kept well away from Santana while they were waiting for Kurt to show. A pity, thought Santana, but there was always Sectionals to look forward to and in the meantime, the rest of the Warblers were more than happy to give her the attention she wanted. She kept an eye on him while she flirted, though. He fiddled with his phone while he paced, glancing toward the gathering of boys around her and to the door, and it was... It was actually kind of depressing how much restraint he obviously employed. Even though he laughed at the right times and smiled in the right ways, it was like he was wound up tight in all kinds of ways.

Then Kurt ducked into the room, shouting Santana’s name in fond disbelief before he enveloped her in a hug. Kurt looked good, which was great, and happy, which was even better, but Santana was kind of caught up in how Blaine just sort of sagged the moment Kurt had appeared.

She knew that look. She felt it every time she looked at Rachel and Finn or Sam and Quinn and how stupidly happy they looked together, and she realized then the mistake she’d made. Blaine looked tired, wanting and charmed all in one go, and his eyes hungrily ate up all the details of Kurt’s image, desperate for the hints that Kurt had to be giving out yet completely unable to act on them...

“Hey,” she cut in on Kurt’s excited ramble. “So I’m happy for you. This place is pretty much awesome.” She cupped his face and god, was he really her age? He looked so much younger. “You’ve got it good here, so you should know that what I’m about to do is completely out of the goodness of my heart and not some kind of charity.”

“Uh,” said Kurt.

She turned him on his heel and pushed him toward Blaine. “Get that shit.”
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Date: 2011-01-15 07:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chambergambit.livejournal.com
“Get that shit.”

I lol'd. This was really cool. I loved the image of all the Dalton boys falling over themselves for Santana's attention, and Blaine awkwardly fending her off. Great job C:

Date: 2011-01-15 07:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
Hee~ Thanks! I'm glad that you liked it! <3

Date: 2011-01-15 07:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] niniblack.livejournal.com
I need art of Santana in the Dalton uniform. Like, now.

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Date: 2011-01-15 07:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wrenriddle.livejournal.com
I LOVE the Blaine/Santana interaction in this. SO MUCH. Ahahaha.

Date: 2011-01-15 08:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
Thank you! I really enjoyed piecing together their interaction, so I'm glad you like it so much!

Date: 2011-01-15 07:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chocolate6969.livejournal.com
This is the epitome of awesomeness. For some reason, I really like Santana-Blaine interaction :P IT NEEDS TO HAPPEN.

Date: 2011-01-15 08:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
I would definitely not be opposed to Santana and Blaine hitting it off an an awkward-and-slightly-antagonistic way in the snow. Yup~

Date: 2011-01-15 07:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yoassbutt.livejournal.com
omg, I want ND to show up at Dalton/visit Kurt so badly rn!
and I love every Blaine/Santana interaction I read, really.

oh, and "Get that shit."? masterpiece :D

Date: 2011-01-15 09:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
Blaine/Santana interactions are so unbelievably priceless. <33 I love it every time I come across it too~ :D

Thank you!

Date: 2011-01-15 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ariacantata.livejournal.com
I love Santana+Kurt interactions, and this was amazing! Your characterization of Santana (bitchy but also somewhat sweet in her own way), was pitch-perfect.
Thank you so much!

Date: 2011-01-15 09:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
Awww! I was a little unsure of Santana because it's my first time writing for her, so your review really helps! Thank you!

Date: 2011-01-15 08:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spawn-hell.livejournal.com
I adore the Blaine/Santana interaction! Hilarious!

“You’ve got it good here, so you should know that what I’m about to do is completely out of the goodness of my heart and not some kind of charity.”

FTW! (I too need a picture of Santana in that Dalton uniform...especially if it really does show off her rather fine bust. ;P)

Date: 2011-01-15 10:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
[livejournal.com profile] ileliberte mentioned that she might be working on art higher up in the comments, so... ;alksfajkslfd I want to convince her to draw it.

Date: 2011-01-15 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mikazuki-hime.livejournal.com
Oh, I love this so much! Your Santana's voice is just prefect! <3

Santana/Blaine bromance is waiting to happens on Glee 8D

Date: 2011-01-15 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
Why thank you! It's a relief to have people approve of my Santana-voice! <3

I will probably do flappy hands if they ever have a conversation.

Date: 2011-01-15 09:07 pm (UTC)
ext_188822: (Lovely Complex - Risa &Otani LC+)
From: [identity profile] jyusan.livejournal.com
oi2ugrdaweigrfo3ige3, "get that shit" :D loved it :D

Date: 2011-01-15 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
haha, thank you~ <3

Date: 2011-01-15 10:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] psyko-kittie.livejournal.com
LOL! Love her. Too funny. :D

Date: 2011-01-15 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
Thanks for your review!

Date: 2011-01-15 10:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silverkit.livejournal.com
Really. She’d never considered being too hot a burden before.

This is honest to god how I think Santana's mind works at all times. Like a cat's. This is short, but fiery hot all at the same time.

I love Santana, and really loved how you wrote her interacting with Kurt/Warblers/Blaine.

Date: 2011-01-16 12:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
LOL, Santana is amazing~ She's such a secretly sweet thing underneath all that bitch and hiss, so long as she gets her way. <33

Date: 2011-01-15 11:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lferbs.livejournal.com
"Get that shit."

Ahhh that needs to happen in the show :D

Date: 2011-01-16 12:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
I would be so happy if that happened~ :D

Date: 2011-01-16 12:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shia-labeouf.livejournal.com
Epic last line is epic. I ♥ you.

Date: 2011-01-16 12:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
*laughs* Thank you, dearest~ :D

Date: 2011-01-16 02:22 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
yeah Kurt, get it! Santana's way was much more colorful.

lol this was a fun read!

ND in Dalton uniforms? yes, plz!

Date: 2011-01-16 02:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skintightsocks.livejournal.com
This is so awesome! Your Santana voice is perfect, I love the way she interacts with Blaine and Kurt, and that last line made me laugh out loud. (And I fully support the notion to see Santana in a Dalton-esque uniform, UNF.)

Date: 2011-01-16 10:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
Heee~ getting a positive from you is so flattering, I can't even. ♥ Thank you!

From what I understand there are a few people that are putting forward the effort to draw Santana in the Dalton-esque uniform. I really look forward to seeing it!

Date: 2011-01-16 02:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] neffervescent.livejournal.com
Blaine and Santana is pretty much my newest drug ♥

“Get that shit.”

I died laughing.

Date: 2011-01-16 10:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
:D I really enjoy the Blaine and Santana interaction I've seen on the internet lately. I hope we get to see it on the show sometime!

Date: 2011-01-16 03:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jedishadowolf.livejournal.com
Awesomesauce! Love the last line especially!

Date: 2011-01-16 10:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2011-01-16 03:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] msmoocow.livejournal.com
Yeah, still just as awesome the second (and third, and fourth...) time.


Date: 2011-01-16 10:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
*gushes* Aww, bb, it wouldn't exist if you hadn't prompted it, so GO YOU.

Date: 2011-01-16 04:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glambertrock.livejournal.com
EPIC WIN ENDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MAH GOSH lol I bursted out in laughter and scared my dog XD


Date: 2011-01-16 10:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! ♥ ♥

Date: 2011-01-16 04:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] of-a-crescendo.livejournal.com
Loved it! Everything was so Santana, especially the last line, oh my God, hahahaha

Date: 2011-01-16 10:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
\o/ Thank you~

Date: 2011-01-16 05:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beth rakel (from livejournal.com)
Ohhh Santana you are so wise. "Get that shit" indeed my dating Yoda...."Get that shit" indeed!

Date: 2011-01-16 10:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
Hehe~ :D

Date: 2011-01-16 05:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-sexypancake.livejournal.com
This was wonderful! I wish it was longer! hahaha. Santana + Kurt friendship is awesome!

Date: 2011-01-16 10:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
Aw, I'm sorry that I didn't go further with it. It seemed like a good place to end it, though, and I'm happy that you liked what I did write. ^-^

Date: 2011-01-16 05:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spookykat.livejournal.com
“Get that shit.” Matchmaker!Santana FTW!!!

This made me giggle. SO HARD. Especially the idea of Rachel thinking a suit would be a good enough disguise to get through Dalton security.

Date: 2011-01-16 10:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
No amount of disguise could ever disguise the about of HBIC that Santana exudes. :D

Date: 2011-01-16 06:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] artemis-sparks.livejournal.com
Aw, I loved this! I adore any Santana/Kurt bonding, especially with her blunt and amazing romantic tips. :P

Date: 2011-01-16 10:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
Satana+Anyone is amazing. She always seems to have the straightforward point of view that people need. ♥

Date: 2011-01-16 06:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] calanthe-b.livejournal.com
This is adorable. Love your Santana voice!

Date: 2011-01-16 10:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rrrowr.livejournal.com
Thank you so much!
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